You would think that, being in the profession that I am that I would have a better sense of direction than most...Unfortunately that's not true for either my physical sense of direction OR for my spiritual one, I'm afraid. I know that I'm lucky to have escaped the place I was working...And I am so thankful...But now that I'm out and doing my best to navigate the waters out in the open sea, it's daunting...I'm more booked than ever, thankfully, but that's never been a worry for me...My guides told me from the moment I chose to leave the book store where I'd been doing readings for almost 7 years (including the period after the fire) that I would be taken care of. Now I'm just doing my best to find my spiritual voice again after such a long time of having to silence it for the sake of survival where I worked.
Follow up:
When I first left the book store I was working literally 12-16 hours a day, every day, trying to get my office together, including doing back to back readings, booking appointments, setting up phone and internet and electricity, putting together marketing materials, updating the web site and all of my internet marketing and oh yeah, doing more readings, lol...I was so exhausted that I'm sure that some of my readings during that time were disjointed...I appreciate every one of you who has been patient with me while I've been getting my new home together! It hasn't been easy but it's definitely been worth it! It's amazing to wake up in the morning and actually look forward to going to work in the morning! And the energy at the new place is amazing...So peaceful...Truth be told, I'm not sure that this place is going to be permanent for reasons that I can't divulge right now, but I am definitely thankful for it - it's a wonderful, peaceful intermediate home for my new practice!
I actually had a disheartening experience the other night...I'm sharing it here both because I think it's important that others interested in developing their abilities know that, no matter how long you work with your abilities, we all have "off" days - AND because I promised when I started writing this blog that I would share as much of myself with my readers as I could in an honest, up front way. So I had a "spirit circle/mediumship demonstration" scheduled at my office the other night. Half an hour before the event was to begin, I had to go pick my boyfriend up and, unfortunately he wasn't thinking and told me some horrible, painful news. I did my best to "shake it off," reminding myself that others had come a long way to talk with their loved ones...I did my best to let go of the words that kept reverberating in my head, but in the end my meditating and prayer weren't enough to raise my vibration enough for strong communication and I ended up receiving muddled messages from people who no one in the room recognized. It was frustrating and difficult and I ended up calling off the event for the night, explaining to my guests what had happened. I felt horrible, but integrity is so important to me that I feel that in many cases telling people that I'm not connecting is much better than trying to push through...This isn't always the case, since I can sometimes establish a great connection if I just push on for a bit...but not on this particular night...
Fortunately everyone was wonderful about it, but it's left me with a difficult decision...Should I continue to do spirit circles? I enjoy doing them and would like to continue, but they might just not be my "thing." After all, there are numerous other mediums who offer public displays of mediumship...Maybe I'm meant to just keep my practice small and private as opposed to "going public" as my guides have told me...Recently they haven't been saying much of anything in terms of "going public," so the truth is that I'm not sure...I just love it when they leave me out of the loop! lol Guides will often tell us only the part of the story that we need to know...and sometimes their information can seems conflicting...but it's not. For example, for a couple of years they've told me that I'm going to take my practice public...but now that I've actually been working toward that goal, I seem to be running into one obstacle after another - including being incapable of "performing" at that last spirit circle...but I know that there's a reason...I don't know the reason yet, but I know my guides well enough by now to know that there's a reason...Maybe because I'm not SUPPOSED to be actively searching out ways to go public...Maybe because I'm supposed to be honing my public speaking skills and working on re-integrating my true spirituality in my work (which, as I said, was all but stripped from me by my boss at the book store)...I don't know yet, but just like you facing the trials of your life, I'm just going to have to wait to see what they have in store for me! Chances are it won't be exactly what I had in mind, but it will be exactly what I need...
